Faith Walk / William Carroll
Faith Walk / William Carroll
Ep 40 ; Bridging Divorce with Faith: William Carroll's Journey to Healing and Family Unity
The road to healing after a divorce can feel lonely, but it doesn't have to be a journey you make alone. Join me, William Carroll, as I bare my soul about the pain of my own marriage ending and how leaning into my faith provided the balm I needed to move forward. In the throes of heartbreak and depression, I turned to 1 Corinthians 7:15 for guidance, leading me to a place of peace and acceptance. The power of letting go, finding solace in prayer, and the importance of recognizing when it's time to step into a new chapter for the sake of everyone involved became my beacon of hope. This episode isn't just my story—it's a sharing of strength and an invitation to find your own path through faith.
As families evolve, so do the relationships within them—this is especially true in the wake of a divorce. With children and grandchildren as the threads that bind, transitioning from a romantic to a platonic relationship with a former spouse is an intricate dance of emotions and communication. I'll take you through this delicate balance of preserving family unity, even as you navigate the heartache of watching a life you knew transform into something new. Through candid discussions about the choices that lead us towards peace and away from conflict, this conversation serves as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative journey of self-discovery and familial love.
Well, good morning. Welcome to Faith Walk with William Carroll. I'm your host. We've been talking about how to have a faith walk with God. First off, you must be born again. God will show you signs, wonders and miracles. I have been sharing that on this podcast. I hope you're excited about it. I hope you're waiting eagerly for the next podcast and you start on your faith walk. Start being the hands, the feet of God. Get God out of the box. Religion puts him in the box. Relationship takes him out of the box and lets him be God. See, god wants to be glorified in your life. God wants people to see him working in your life. You know, and we're overcomers by the word of our mouth. You know the testimony of our mouth. You know, that's how, in the blood of Jesus, we're overcomers by the blood of Jesus and the testimony of our mouth, what he has done in our life. Oh, I just, you know I started on this. This is episode 40.
Speaker 1:And I started talking about a time that I went through in my life and it was a hard part. You know, it's a part that I don't really like to look back on. And after 24 and a half years, you know, me and my wife had separated for two years and I was praying, lord, bring her back, lord, bring her back. And I was believing. I was believing the word of God standing on the word of God, that God would bring her back. You know, for what God has joined together, let no man cast asunder. I mean, I was standing on that scripture. I said, lord, I know that you back up your word, but listen, listen, you have to have a will. Each person has their own free will. I can pray that prayer all the time because I wanted her to come back, but God is not going to make her do what she don't want to do.
Speaker 1:All right, now, I told you my wife and I are good friends. Now, I mean, when we go on family vacations, uh, we all go, the grandkids, the kids we get. We get a house, you know, that's big enough for 20 people, you know rooms for everybody. And my mother-in-law, my ex-mother-in-law, goes, my, my ex-wife goes, you know, and and, uh, it's just, uh, you know, but it wasn't like that, it wasn't like that when we first got divorced. So, um, I shared in 1 Corinthians you know chapter 7, and in verse 15 it says if an unbelieving part leaves. Let him go, because God ordains peace in the house.
Speaker 1:See, god is not the author of confusion. The Word of God says God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the church. So he's not the author of confusion in the church, but he's also not the author of confusion in your life, but he wants us to have peace. You know, if there isn't peace in your house, then there's confusion. God's not the author of that. He doesn't want that. You know.
Speaker 1:And you know I was happy I would have taken her back. You know, at that time and until I got to the time that it hurt me so bad and I realized she wasn't coming back. And I realized also when my 15 year old daughter said said dad, don't let that woman ever come back in this house, move back here. And I said why? Baby, that was her mother. She said because there's peace in this house now. Well, her and her mother and my son in here, they've made their peace, you know. But there was so much confusion in the house because she didn't want to be here and it caused confusion. So when God started laying these but there was so much confusion in the house because she didn't want to be here and it caused confusion.
Speaker 1:So when God started laying these scriptures on my life, on my mind and on my heart and on my spirit, and I began praying and praying about it, I got a peace about it that if an unbelieving part wants to leave, you got to let them go because it's not going to cause anything but confusion in your life and the life of the family. It's going to hurt everybody. And if they're out there in infidelity and they have another person in their life that they're sharing their life with, the community sees it, everybody sees it, and it hurts the community, you know, and you, you can let that go for a while, but at some point in time God doesn't want that to show up on your life, the life of your kids, life of your church. You know you have to do something about it. And I felt a piece in my life. Listen, I'm not telling you to go out and get a divorce. Don't ever do that. Work through it, work through it, pray through it, try to make it happen. Try to make it. I wanted it to work. 24 and a half years. I put up with a lot in 24 and a half years, I could tell you, but I'm not going to and I've forgiven her. But you know the hardest part. Finally, god said you know, I had a piece about it to let her go.
Speaker 1:So when I went and I filed for divorce and I took it to her and I said hey, listen, I filed for divorce and I'll just serve you the papers. I didn't want them to come do it. And she said I don't want a divorce. I said are you coming home? No, well, she had said that for two years she wasn't coming home and she wasn't going to give up her friend and he worked with her. You know, and, and listen, when the divorce was final, I came out and I was when the judge said I was just heartbroken. You know I was. I was. I felt like I failed my life, my failed, my wife failed, my kids failed, my church, failed, my God, failed myself. Because I didn't believe in divorce. You know and here's something I didn't believe in that I just had to walk through and you would think there would be a peace about that, but I didn't.
Speaker 1:I went through a two-year depression. If any of you have ever been depressed, I mean it's like a. It can be sunny and a good day and it feels like it's a dark, dark, cloudy day. You just, you know, you're not happy anywhere you're at and you think you'll be happy if you go here or you go there and you go there and you're not happy there and you're not happy. Two years I went through a depression. For two years I went through a depression. I was depressed and I I just, you know, uh, I I met, uh, of course I have a prayer partner.
Speaker 1:I talked about him, tommy Johns and me and him would pray and we would pray and we would talk about it, and he was, you know, at that time he had a head-on wreck and got killed. So here I am going through the greatest trial in my life. My prayer partner for 25 years has a head-on wreck and get killed, man, and I'm saying God what, you know what is going on, and that didn't help the depression. It didn't help that I had anybody. And then I met a friend. I met a friend, vernon, a friend Vernon, and he was a missionary. He took churches over to Guatemala and to work with orphanages and stuff, and I met him. I started going to church and we started being big friends and he started calling me from wherever he was, and I was starting to come out of the depression. I was starting to, you know, uh, feel a relief and and and have the peace of God in my life again that I had done the right thing.
Speaker 1:Even though I didn't want to do that, see and uh and cause, I did love her and I still love her and I wanted her back. You know, I love her in a different way Now. It's more like a brotherly and a sister love. You know, we can talk. We got grandkids and kids together. If you have to go through something like this, you ought to be able to talk to the person. Now, a lot of people can't, a lot of people can't, and I'm not judging you if you can't, but if you have to go through something like that and you have kids and grandkids, you ought to be able to talk to each other. You ought to be able to. You know I have no desire for her anymore or to be in that capacity or relationship of husband and wife anymore, no desire whatsoever.
Speaker 1:When, when the divorce was over, it was like that part of me died. That's why I went through the depression that I went through and the hardest thing that I did. One day after church I had to go up to the store where her and him were. Man, it was hard because I had been up in the situation before the divorce and you know I had gone up there with not good intentions before, you know, we got the divorce. I was going to take care of some business and I'm talking about, I'm just telling you, I had on my mind to take care of some business and I could have took care of some business right then. But, um, but uh, I didn't. You know I left. Well, after the divorce and after I started kind of coming out of the depression a little bit, god said you got. I left. Well, after the divorce, and after I started kind of coming out of the depression a little bit, god said you got to forgive her. So I went up there and there they were, both of them and I. I pulled up and they, you know he had a scared look on his face and he he probably should have, you know. But, um, he's a young boy, and um, I walked up there and I said I said so, I said so when I called her name. I said so, you want him? Yeah, I do. And I said and you that that's going to make you happy to have him. Yeah, and I said and you want her. And he said yeah. And I said and you want everything I worked for. I said you know, I've paid for your, your, your clothes on your back, your gas in your car, everything that you've got because you've worked with here with us. And I said and you want her to, you want my wife to, you want everything. Of course we were divorced now, you know, but I, I still thought I better ask my wife. And he said yeah, I do, said okay. I said, well, y'all can have each other. I said I just want to tell you I forgive you and uh and uh, I hope y'all have a good life. And I got in that truck and let me tell you that was the hardest thing I had to do. It was so hard to do to forgive, you know, and and and man I'm it's just even talking about it now. I I the the feelings you know of how hard that was to do, and, but I did it. I did it because God laid it on my heart. I had for me to move on. I had to forgive. Now, if you forgive, you have to start forgetting. I mean you have to start forgetting. If you say, well, I'll if you forgive, you have to start forgetting. I mean you have to start forgetting. If you say, well, I'll forgive you, but I'll never forget, and then every time something happens, you throw that up in their face. Then you hadn't forgiven, so I had to let it go. I had to let it go so I could move on with my life, so I could have peace in my life. So Vernon and me became friends and he traveled all over the United States and went to churches and he, he called, he would call me from everywhere. And let me just tell you how great he was. He called me and he said he called me one day and he said what are you doing? I said, well, I'm working, vernon, what you doing? He said, well, I'm up here in Kansas on a highway I don't know what the highway number was, you know interstate 40 or whatever. And he said he said I'm driving a baby blue Cadillac that the church rented for me. And he said it's a convertible. And he said, and I'm parked under an overpass. He said it's a hell and golf ball size hell right now. And we would always talk about the word of God and he would encourage me and he would lift me. He was just a friend. You see, all the friends that I had at church. Let me tell you, when you go through a hard time, I had a bunch of good friends at church, friends in the cause. I had been in the men's ministry and and we would all get out there after the men's ministry and pick guitars in the parking lot and talk to 11, 12 o'clock at night on men's ministry night and I had a bunch of great friends, you know, in the church and I'm telling you it was so good. But when it came out in the paper, local paper, you know that we were getting a divorce man, I mean my friends, they left me, they didn't call me, they didn't. You know, it's almost like they shunned me. See, the church thinks the divorce. If you're divorced, you can't do nothing in the church anymore. See, it's an unforgivable sin in the church. That's what has been taught through the years. It's an unforgivable sin. But God says that sin is sin and if you're guilty of one you're guilty of all. But if you're forgiven of one, you can be forgiven of all. But the church wants to hold that against you and say, oh, you can't ever preach you. But the church wants to hold that against you and say, oh, you can't ever preach, you can't ever be a pastor. You you know? The Bible says one wife. Well, well, I have one wife now, the wife that God brought into my life after my divorce, when I, when I had quit looking for a wife, and he brought and I said, lord, I yielded myself to him, I said I'll never get, I'll never have another woman if you don't want me to. After I prayed that prayer, a month later I'm jumping ahead of myself. I got my wife. He brought me, you know, into this, my wife now into my life, well, anyway. So I forgave her, you know. And Vernon, I was talking to him and I was, you know, just having it. He was just such a blessing in my life. And then, what happened after? That is.
